I looked through the section of the paper with the horoscopes in it this morning as I was heating up my oatmeal. It gives Libras five stars for March 31st. I'm not feeling it.
What I am feeling is anxious. That feeling of just having so much I should/could be doing that none of it is getting done because as soon as I look at one piece, I start thinking about another piece, and then I look at that piece. Rinse. Repeat.
I'm not nervous about the surgery (well, I'm not nervous about that right now). I'm nervous about all the logistical decisions I have to make, and all the information-gathering I have to do: What if I don't ask the exact right question of my insurance, and end up with a huge bill? What if I don't ask the exact right question of my insurance, and miss out on coverage I could have had? What if New York is less expensive than India? What if flying to and from India is awful? What if I miss my kids while I'm gone? What if I make a mistake??????
Also, my work is going through a huge systems change starting tomorrow. So I'm trying to clean up loose ends as best as I can in anticipation. So I can't even distract myself with work - I just have a bunch more 'what ifs' there.
Some days it's just really hard to be a grown up. I would not give those days five stars.
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